A LETTER TO THE CHRISTIAN WIVES A Study on Titus 2:4-5
[By
Robert Arthur]
A
Bible Class Booklet No. 2
Dear Christian Wives,
There is no much happiness and honor in
marriage than for the wife to exhibit a praiseworthy and godly character. And
for that every husband would be at ease and happy to praise his wife for such a
virtuous womanhood. However, the Bible has an ample of golden roles and
responsibilities for which the wife should fulfill in the marriage. The Apostle
Paul has also and considerably given out a number of scriptures of inspirations
to support the Christian wife to become my
dear and a darling to her
husband. Pro 31:11, 1 Cor 7:34
The
first primary role for which God gave for the wife is to be a suitable helper. Yes, the purpose for which
God created the woman was for her to be man’s helper. Gen 2:18-24
There is another important thought of lessons
in the wordings of the verses 21-22 “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he
slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead
thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman,
and brought her unto the man”.
Note that the woman was not created out of
the man’s head, or his neck, or his feet, but his rib. His side! This shows clearly that the woman [wife] is not the
man’s subordinate or slave, either is she the head of the husband. So what is
the woman to the man here? She is his mate,
a good mate of course. A
suitable helper to the man!
Indeed
marriage is not a master-slave relationship but rather a perfect and beautiful
institution of God for two companions [husband & wife] to live together in peace
and harmony. And God calls it honorable!
Heb 13:4, Pro 18:22
Each
is in the marriage to compliment and supplement and be there for the other. In
short both are there to give support to each other. Eccl 4:9-12
However our focus in this study is for the
Christian wives to read and adhere to the substance of the letter of
exhortation from the Apostle Paul. Paul wrote this letter long ago to his
associate missionary Titus at the time he was charged to reside in Crete to “set things in order in the church”.
Tit 1:5
In the Book of Titus chapter 2 the Apostle directed
his attention unto the old and aged men and women, the Christian grandpas and
grandmas. In verse 3 his instructions were the major responsibilities placed on
the shoulders of these old ladies to properly conduct themselves well and how
this could be of great and precious benefit to the lives of young wives in the
church.
Although the Apostle was then given critical
instructions to the old Christian women but in verses 4-5 we see the picture
beauty of the Christian wives roles to their husbands typified in the course of
their marriage relationship. It reads “That they may teach
the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, To be
discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient
to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed”
These qualities could not be an optional to the wives. They are
their sole responsibilities to fulfill them. And if the wife sees these as
important in the sphere of her marital stewardship to the husband then she will
and can be called “a virtuous wife” and
“a suitable helper”.
However
on these premises of stewardship of the Christian wives the sound teachings from the godly grandmothers
as outlined by Paul will set the minds of these young wives first to be sober.
To be “sober”
is to be ‘sound in understanding’, ‘deeply
concern about spiritual matters’, ‘serious’, ‘on the alert’, ‘prudent’ and ‘apt’. Their sobriety will encourage
them and give birth to the fulfillment of the following roles as good wives.
1. Love their husbands: The above
scripture of study orderly listed the roles of wives in this manner. First, to “love their husbands”! The topmost
priority of the Christian wives is for them to love their own husbands. In other words their husbands are the first to
consider in their marriages and not
their parents, pastors, their managers in the offices or even their children.
Their love for their husbands should not be just rhetoric. That is the
Christian wife should not love her husband base on materialism [fame, prestige and money]. But her love must be manifested
in her submission, respect and care for the husband. Eph 5:22, Col 3:18
To
love something is to cherish it, honor and appreciate it. So, therefore the
wives are to appreciate their husbands as they are, whether they are handsome
or ugly, rich or poor, whether they are elite, educated or ignorant etc.
The Christian wives should honestly accept
their position as the mate and a helper and therefore must deeply love and
respect their husbands as heads, do them good and so to bring out the best in
them. Pro 31:12
The good Christian wife will have every
reason to say “until death do us part”!
2. Love their children: The next
order of role for the wife is to be “children
lover”. The love here is the same as the former. The wives are likewise in
the marriage as mothers and must exhibit the qualities of motherhood. Thus
their love for their children is to train, discipline, and nurture and
admonishes them in the Lord. This includes the health and well being of the
little children. And just as the husbands are to provide for the means of the
family’s survival such as clothing, food and shelter, the wives are also to
instill into their children the Christian faith. Pro 1:8, 20:11; 21:13; 22:6
The Bible provides us with a lot of good
mothers to learn from. Like Jochebed who protected his son for three months
without the fear of Pharaoh’s decree, Hannah who fulfilled her vow and prepared
his son for the priesthoodship, Mary who nurtured and trained the young messiah
for the mission ahead of him etc. But the outstanding motherhood that was
exhibited in the lives of Timothy’s mother and grandmother, Eunice and Lois is
chiefly thought on the more. 2 Tim 1:5
Though Paul in Ephesians 6:4 depicted the man
to be leading this training and discipline of the children, however, the
Christian mother best training of her children will definitely bring and build
up their characters.
3. Discreet:
Another word for this is ‘Self-Control’.
This is the third order of responsibility of the wife. The word means ‘being able to control one’s emotions and
impulses’.
Playing and fulfilling the role of self-control
as wives is a badge of maturity. This means they have to be careful and must know
how to exercise restraint in dealing with matters of importance. They must not
run their mouths like parrot but rather should be able to keep secret to their
chests. Like Mary the mother of our Lord, she learned how to be discreet as a
mother and a wife. Lk 2:51
For the wives to play this role of being
self-controlled is not an easy task though, but the good wives will humbly
allow themselves to be constrain by the
love of Christ into bringing all things under subjection when dealing with
marital issues. 2 Cor 5:14
And if
the wife is discreet [self-control] that means she is a wife who is content
with all that she has and all that her husband is able to provide. Being
discreet or self-controlled is a mark of a selfless
attitude!
For a self-controlled attitude in the wives will
neutralize bickering, bitterness, nagging and outburst of wrath. And whenever
the woman is comfortable and content in her position she plays as wife she definitely
becomes good and suitable partner.
4. Chaste: This
is the fourth role to play by the wife. Other translations render this word as ‘Pure’. I think I would prefer our word
‘pure’ more in this study. This is the same Greek word that was used by Paul in
2 Cor 11:2 “For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused
you to one husband that I may present you
as a chaste virgin to Christ”.
Paul being aware of the Devil’s tactics and
schemes he uses to derail the believers from the faith was cautious to warn the
church of God at Corinth and tries to present them as pure or chaste to the
Lord. A little slight of watch the Devil will delude them into soiling their
clothes of purity.
Being pure [chaste], the good wife will be
faithful to her husband. She will never substitute her love and purity for her
husband for another man. A chaste wife is modest in her adornments [dress,
attire, arrangement of clothing]. She does not wrap her body with light and
tight-skinned clothes to attract her male counterpart. Nor does she dress half
naked, exposing some parts of body shapes.
These days the value of our Christian mode of
dress is cheaply traded. Many ministers of God felt that the recent
modernization and civilization in our world have substituted the morality of
God. Thus our liberty in the Lord gives us the nod to wear anything at all,
being swimming pants, short skirts, wearing of long artificial hair, big ear rings
and finger nails etc. But in spite of this up rise of this so-called modernism the
chaste Christian wives still hold onto the characters and adornments [make ups]
of old faithful mothers. 1 Pet 3:1-5
Being pure [chaste], the good wives know how
to present their speeches so not to seduce and induce lust. You can always
taste and feel the softness
and saltiness in their
sentences as indeed mothers of children. Their words are soft to consider. No
vulgar, sour or filthy language comes out of their mouths. They are characterized
with shamefacedness and sobriety. Col 4:6, 1 Tim 2:9-10
5. Keepers
at home: This
is an important role to consider by the wives. The English word ‘keep’ is a verb. It is an action or
doing word. It is a daily duty to do. A continuous task the Christian wife has
to perform. The virtuous wife is obliged to keep her home! Keeping the home has
many faces. It means the whole house is under her stewardship and care. She
properly has to manage the everyday affairs of the house and to make sure all
things are well arranged in order. This includes making sure that always food
is on the dining table for the family. A wife under our study is not lazy cocoon. Being the keeper [manager,
steward, and caretaker] in the house she has to be wise and economical with her
housekeeping money. She does not spend on unnecessary and extravagance things,
but little and simple things are very precious and chief to her. She willingly
organizes the house, cleanup the dishes and leave nothing unattended at home.
And this is what Solomon said concerning this
virtuous wife. “She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her
hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she brings her food from
afar. She rises also while it is yet night, and gives meat to her household,
and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field, and buys it: with the
fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girdles her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms. She
perceives that her merchandise is
good: her candle goes not out by night.
She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She
stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands
to the needy. She is not afraid of
the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is
known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes
fine linen, and sells it;
and delivers girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall
rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looks
well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness”. Pro 31:13-27
With all these being said about the wives the
husbands are not exempted from their role in making sure the housekeeping
monies are on the tables for the wives to accomplish their part of their marriage
duties.
6. Good: The
sixth role is for the wives to be good. Other translations use the word ‘Kind’.
If a person is kind it means that person is
good, compassionate and generous. Thus the kind Christian wife is good,
generous, charitable and compassionate towards her husband. She knows what time
the whole household eats and has to put food on the table for them. She has
compassion for her husband. If the man has money she knows and if he has no
money she is fully aware. A wife of such caliber is not only concern about her own
upkeep but her husband and her children as well. In simple terms such a wife is
a selfless wife!
Sadly speaking, many of our Christian women nowadays
have no time or business to endure when there are hard times in their marital
lives. Like Job’s wife they will never give any support to their husbands or
give them any encouragement. Instead they will add and increase more sorrow and
pains to their partners’ plight. Some women even seeing the lost of their
husbands businesses and jobs will easily deny them all their rights and
privileges in the marriage even to the extent of denying them sex. But the good
wife will never stop at any point until she finds rest for the family once
again. Even on the sick bed of her husband the best kind of wife will be there
to pray and help her partner and at last she will say I’m not in this marriage
for my personal gains but “for better or
worse, for richer or for poorer and in sickness or in health and until death do
us part!”
A kind wife is all what a husband needs. She
is really good helper and suitable wife!
7. Obedient
to their own husbands: This is the last responsibility to do by the
Christian wives. The first order of role mentioned by Paul is for the wives to
“love their husbands” and at the bottom of the ladder of role he said the wives
should be “obedient to their own husbands”. Are these not a perfect order of
roles to perform by wives? Indeed, the wives priority of role is to their
husbands and their last responsibility or role is again to their own husbands
as well. This is how perfect God has designed and planned the marriage for both
man and woman. If both companions try to do their very best of duty in the
marriage then of course their relationship is going to be heaven on earth.
The virtuous wives have to be obedient. Being
obedient partners they have to learn to be respectful, humble and reverence
their husbands. This means that such wives have to be listening wives than being
challenging and opposing to every decision the husbands make or suggest.
The Apostle Paul in Colossians 3:18-19 admonishes
both the marriage couple to be prudent in working towards the goal of their
marriage. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is
fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your
wives, and be not bitter against them”.
The wife who is obedient and submits herself to
her own husband is very fit for the kingdom of the Lord.
Peter who also exhorted the Christian wives
in their marriages told the wives to be in subjection to their husbands: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;
that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the
conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear”. 1 Pet 3:1-2
The
Apostle Peter was not in any way saying that the man is the ‘lord’ whiles the lady is his ‘slave’ or ‘subject’ to run all his errands. But he was inspired to give a
pictorial beauty of how the good wife must be lowly and reverences her own
husband as the lord of the house, “even
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord”. 1 Pet 3:5
My dear Christian Wives if you will be able to do your very best
into fulfilling your assigned roles and responsibilities in your marriages then
and that there would be no room for anyone to have a reason to blasphemy [speak
against and criticize] the Word of God.
I think time will not permit me to say or write more, but I know
with this submission it will definitely meet your kind considerations. Thank
you so much!
Sincerely Yours.
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